From Now On…
Confession: I haven’t been totally honest in my posts.
Well, let me clarify. I have been truthful, but I haven’t been really posting what I’ve wanted to post as of recently.
This blog first started as a way for me to express myself to the world. It was not only a way for me to perfect my writing style but also a way for me to type things that no one in my real life would ever read.
There’s sort of a liberty in knowing that everyone who you are divulging your inner thoughts to you don’t know in real life. Knowing that the only thing they can do is hurt or help you online, not in the real world. That they can offer their support but from afar. I know, it sounds weird, but if you’ve ever had to tell your life story to someone who knows you well vs someone who you will never see again, you might start to understand what I mean.
You see, when I first started my blog, that was the goal. I wanted to write my posts in my little universe and send them out to another universe, never to be seen by anyone in my personal life. But then, my family and friends found out. Some through my resume or through my social media, but mostly because I told them. What can I say, I was proud of it and frustrated that no one had noticed it. Isn’t everyone’s dream to be noticed?
And then, through that, I sort of locked myself into a box and tossed the key into an abandoned well a hundred feet deep. By allowing those in my life to access my most private thoughts, I no longer felt the freedom to say them. In fact, if anything, I felt like I couldn’t say certain things and had to say other things because of the judgment or even support I would receive in the real life. After all, if I wanted people in my personal life to know all my problems, I wouldn’t have a blog (okay, I would still have a blog, but it would be a lot different).
But you know what? I’m done with feeling like I have to act a certain way in my real life and therefore a certain way in my blogging life because of how people will view it. I”m the same person in both, so why can’t I actually be the same person in both? As my uncle/cousin recently, brilliantly said, “everyone will always have their own opinions. It’s up to you which ones you listen to.”
So, welcome to Camden’s Corner, the place where I can be my genuine, authentic, struggling self…and you can, too.
Want to support my page? Consider joining my Patreon family for exclusive updates and content. Click here for more information.
This post is part of the “I am an observer” posts, which can be found here. To see all posts, click here.
Categories: I am an observer