Pre-Quarantine Social Interactions Introverts Don’t Miss

You walk passed someone you might know but you aren’t sure enough to say hi or even wave so you go on your phone or look at the ground or stretch your neck up high and look at the trees so they have to say hi first.

You get too many calls and texts from people in a given period of time.

You get no calls or texts from people in a given period of time.

You recognize a face but not a name.

You have to introduce the face you recognize to someone else and you stand there hoping they will introduce themselves so that you don’t have to admit you don’t know the face’s name.

Certain people don’t realize that certain people make you more tired than others.

You go to a party.

You are at the store and someone is blocking the aisle with their cart full of Captain Crunch, milk, and toilet paper and you need to get to the exact spot their cart is in so you stand there actively looking at a bag of frozen beef patties until they leave even though you are vegetarian.

Someone asks if they can bring another person you don’t know.

You are walking past your neighbors determined to get the heavy load of clean mismatching socks and embarrassing Pink ™ underwear to your apartment and your neighbor says hi.

Your mom sees someone she knows while you two are shopping for tampons.

Your fart isn’t as silent as you thought.

An older person at a family reunion comes up to you claiming you used to be a height when you were younger and my, how much you’ve grown.

The doorbell rings and you weren’t expecting anybody.

Someone in the check out line at Walmart asks if you play basketball because you are so tall. No? Maybe volleyball? Come on, you must do something if you’re that tall.

The world is exhausting and you have been up since 7 am talking to people.

You misjudged how many groceries you can actually carry and so you are walking around the store like an ogre who wants Reese’s, cheese ravioli, Frosted Flakes, pretzels, and a carton of eggs. A woman with two things in her cart looks at you.

The line at Wendy’s keeps getting shorter and shorter and you still haven’t decided if you want a number 1 or just a salad. You’ll probably panic and just get a number 3 instead.

During a party, someone walks over to the corner you have made your home for the night and tries to strike up a conversation.

You are given the wrong food but it is too hard to get the waiter’s attention, so you eat it. It’s okay. You can just pick around the chicken.

A restaurant doesn’t offer delivery.

You see someone you know but they are too far away for you to yell anything so you text them or wave your arms frantically and hope they notice.

You are about to start your first day at your new job and know no one.

Your mom and brother, with you bobbing behind, are at the mall for three hours. Shopping.

Netflix is something you are supposed to watch with friends now.

Despite your best efforts, you still must get gas, eat food with friends, go to the store, and interact with people every day.

You wave back at someone only to realize they are waving to the person behind you.

It’s your birthday and your mom tells the waiter at the Mexican restaurant this even though you told her not to. Halfway through your veggie quesadilla, a herd of people dressed in pinata shirts surrounds your table clapping their hands and singing in Spanish. They give you a sombrero. Your mom videotapes and posts it on Facebook.

You walk into the wrong bathroom just as the right person walks out.

You spill your hot tea with three spoonfuls of sugar down a stranger’s leg on your lunch break.

Your great-grandma had 7 siblings, all of whom had at least 40 children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. It’s Thanksgiving and all of them showed up.

A few seconds into walking down a busy street, you realize you forgot your water bottle so you make a show of getting a call or blatantly remembering something so that no one thinks you are weird. They probably still do.

Sometimes when you are talking you forget you are talking and you end up saying too much or nothing at all to the stranger sitting next to you on the bus.

It is exam week and it seems as though more than half your college just rediscovered the library.

A friend invited you over to their house.

Someone on the train with you thinks that reading a book is an invitation for them to strike up a conversation.

Your classes are either so big that you can get lost or so small that you have to speak at least three times to keep up with everyone else.

While peeing, your friend starts talking to you from a stall over.

You are at Chipotle, Qdoba, or any other restaurant that requires you to parallel your walking with the person in the white gloves trying to hear if you said you wanted cheese or beans on your taco. You wanted both but after trying to talk loudly at the plastic screen between you, you give up and settle for beans.

Your friends don’t want to leave but you do. If your budget or the environment was less important than your mental well being, this would be the last time you carpool.

One thought on “Pre-Quarantine Social Interactions Introverts Don’t Miss

  1. Yessssssss so true! Even though I haven’t experienced some of these things first hand, your writing brings me into the mind of someone who has. Also l love the way you formatted this.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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